The journey from Patong beach to Haadyai take about 8 hours. I only listen to one song along that journey, eventhough my Ipod have about 1300 song, separate into 6 playlist; 500 pop/rock, 200 lukthung/mhorlam, 120 classic lukthung/lukkrung, 100 remake lukthung( by God Jakkraphan, Thai Thannawuth, etc), 100 reggae/ska/rasta. (Of course all is thai song) But I'm kinda listen to only one song again and again. The song duration is 3.31 minutes, and 8 hours is 480 minutes, its plays in a loops for about 145 times. The song is 'Lorng Tai' by Thai Thanawuth. Try to figure out who am I, my heritage, my history, myself. As the bus past Phang Nga, Krabi, Trang and Phatthalung heading to Haadyai.
Born in this country, sometime or most of the time to be accurate, I just feel estrange. No matter where I go or where I stay, my soul seem restless. Kinda lost it's way home. Much worst; do I ever have 'home'? The place I've been and the the place that I wanna go, it's have to do with the song I've listen to. I'm is a hard core lukthung/mhorlam fan. It's kinda bring me to the beautiful fantasy journey in my mind. When I'm listening to Mae Kha Ta Khom, it's bring me to Tha Tien (the boat pier just before Ratchawong pier at Chao Phraya river). The place where a boy wait for his dream girl who sell fruit on her boat to pass by. When I'm past by that pier on the boat, it's give me a good feeling when I really been there because I've used to listen to that song alot with my dad 15 years ago. Or when I'm listen to 'Sao Nakhornsawan' by Lukphrae/Mhaithai, I'm kinda wanna be there. To see how beautiful Nakhornsawan's girl is, that make isaan boy so crazy about her. Or when I listen to 'Rak Salaai Dork Faai Barn' by Jintara Phoonlarp, I'm wanna go to Leoi, to be at the Dork Faai fest, to watch 'mhorlum' concert, it's sounds so beautiful in the song. Even worst, sometime I just wanna leave this country and move to Sakol Nakhorn when I'm listening to 'Fark Jai Wai Isaan', by Yordrak Salakjai.
So far I've been to Nhongkhai, Lao, Udorn Thani, Bangkok, Rayong, Koh Samet, Pattaya and this year I've been to Phuket, 2 days at the Phuket town and 5 days at the Patong Beach. It's have been a wonderful journey coz I have alot of friends there, I can read Thai, I feel like I'm at 'home'. You must be saying I'm nut, right? What kind of Malaysian species I am? A Malaysian citizen, my both parent are Malaysian, but I feel like Thailand is my home. It's a foreign country for me after all.
I grew up in the age of Rock Kapak. Most of my friend at that time, listen to Cinta Bandar Tasek Selatan or Rahsia Pohon Cemara. But I listened to the classic lukthung/lukkrung like Suraphol Sombatjareon, Phlern Phromdaen, Thool Thorngjai, Charinth Nanthanakhorn, Charam Thepphachai or Phongsri Worranuth. It's sounds like it's too old for a young boy to listen to but that's all my dad listen to. But it's gave me the eyes and mind to see the grace of lukthung, and the beauty of it's lyric! It's bring me to a beautiful journey deep down in my soul. Lukthung is, for me the most beautiful song on the entire planet earth. It's lyric tap me to the most beautiful feeling in my subconscious mind. Lukthung, some time it's more than a song to me. They relate to the story of my own life. They've been used to make me laugh and cry. They heal my wounded soul. They offer me hope. Throughout human history, the greatest composer and greatest musician, the master of wordsmith have used the power of musics and lyrics to transform our emotion. And above all it's bring me to the most beautiful place at the Kingdom of Thailand. You can call me bias if you want to, but I've listen to 'String' song also, Loso, Big Ass, Bodyslam, Potato..( I'm not that old after all). But do you think Pop/Rock song can bring you to those place? Nope! Capital N.
Much worst, I'm living in KL now, speak english, read English, and think in English most of the time. I've tried to listen to Lady Gaga, Lilly Allen or Muse, Radio Head, Kasabian, Snow Patrol even Jimmy Eat World and Fall Out Boy, Hujan, Bunkface, Yuna, Estrella, etc. But, it's doesn't feel the same way like lukthung tap into my subconcious mind, it's didn't connect me with my soul, my being. It's didn't wake my emotion, it's didn't spark my imagination. (You can call me out-dated, I don't mind) But of course I listen to pop and rock also, Kal Calorine, Fahrenheit, Siam Belt Club, or reggae; Job Banjob, Kai Jo Brother, Jofax, T- Bone, Rastafari. But I'm a 'lukthung' after all.(translation is budak kampung or country kids). Thanks to my friends at Imeem, it's open me more opportunity for me to listen to different kind of Thai song, from the latest to the most classic one.
Thanks to my job, I'm feel more 'Thai' now. Cook green curry, stir fry phard thai, pound somtam everyday make me closer to home. It's connect me to my soul, my Thai-ness, my 'kfarm pen Thai'. To smell sweet basil, and coriander, mussaman and panaeng compete for my attention, smell like heaven! (Of course 'heaven' is not a place or location, but it's the state of your subconcious mind.) And in my kitchen I speak Lao all the time. I don't know whether it's bring me one step closer to home or drive me away.
Do I'll ever find my way home? And where my 'home' is? On this Merdeka day, don't say I'm not patriotic. I love my country. Do I ever wish that I can go back to the day before 10th March 1908, where my kampung right now is the state of Saiburi, under territory of Siam? No! Do I love my heritage? Yes! I love being who I am. Speak Thai, Lao, English, Malay it's access me to enjoy the beauty of life even more. Cos, you describe your life, your experience, how you see the world, you attach the words to define it. When you learn more words and more language, you'll see life in more detail than other people, therefore I love my country, but in my own way!
Thank you Malaysia, thanks to it's freedom, and peacefulness. This is the best country on the entire planet earth. Happy Merdeka day. Happy ONE MALAYSIA!
