And Hansel said to Gretel: Let us drop these bread crumbs so that together we find our way home…

because losing our way would be the most cruel thing.

Losing your way on a journey is unfortunate. But losing your reason for a journey is way more cruel. Sometimes I traveled alone. Sometimes there were others who took the wheel and took my heart. But when the destination was reached, it was not me who arrived. It was not me at all. And once you lose yourself, you have two choices. Find the person you used to be or lose that person completely. Because sometimes you have to step outside of the person you have been and remember the person you were meant to be. The person you wanted to be. The person you are. (One Tree Hill, 2nd serie, last episode)

I saw this episode before I went 'home' to Thailand and it was very suitable for what I was going through. I have a confession to make. I have love affair with another country. This triangle love is so sweet. Maybe I finally found my 'home'. Few days In Phuket make me realize. I am actually have two country that I can call 'home'. You can call me traitor if you want. But this love affair is so sweet, I couldn't resist. I do not feel I lost myself, but myself was missing parts of itself. And the journey 'home' has brought them back together. The traveling from Kuala Lumpur to Phuket helped me to see the places that have formed me. Where I found my dreams, where I felt my drive. Being at 'home' and meeting my friends made me feel it again. I felt (!!!) and not just knew who I was.

People in my life have inspired me, some have changed my perspective, some made me laugh or cry, some made me think, some made me doubt, some made me believe, some made me swear, some made me fight, some made me give up, some made me to wish, some made me forget, some I forgot, some I remember, some are still on my mind, some are occupying my heart, some make my soul squeeze, some took my trust away, some gave me hopes, some played games with my emotions, some used me, some helped me, some where there for me, some made me regret, some made me thankful, some tried to stop me (some of them succeeded), some tried to ”restart” me (some of them succeeded), some made me feel rich, some made me feel empty, some made me wonder, some made me do wonders…

I could go on and go on and the list would be endless.

When I think of those few days at 'home' in Thailand and those people I spent the days with, I feel my whole history and I am thankful that I got them as a bonus to my life. We laugh, we talk serious, for the first time in my life, I sing karaoke! We are so different but still so close and I feel myself instead of just knowing who I am. These people made me strong and made my life pink for me.